When i was little I was full of dreams and ambitions about the future, though I had always been a little shy girl and found it hard to bond with others. However in middle school I realized that I was snippy, arrogant and always in fights with professors and in the eyes of the other kids I suddenly became a really hot girl.
It created a free pass to the cool group. Elisabeth suddenly had become someone. I didn’t even have time to get used to the new role and had to move to Milan where my world suddenly turned upside down. In a minute ill be back to being a nobody, but worse now I was part of the loser group. When you’re a teenage a signed shirt or a name brand backpack makes the big difference and I had nothing in my house there wasn’t much money at the time.
I felt alone.
At high school back in Trento there was a golden opportunity to get out of that situation of anonymity, I just wanted everything to change. I didn’t want to stay among the losers. I looked around and I quickly realized that the cool kids, those who were tough were the ones who went out and smoked marijuana. The occasion was quick to arrive, it was a beautiful spring day and after school when I was taking the bus I met by chance one of the coolest girls in school and she offered me a joint.
Fear and embarrassment came over me, I was scared, I remember that I asked her if it was dangerous and if I would be come addicted and she just laughed in my face. I felt small and a bit stupid; I just gave a pretty face and faked smile and then smoked a blunt with her.
I had done something very cool, I had to inform the world and in fact that’s what I did, finally Elisabeth had become someone again.
This time nothing could hold me back, for anything in the world I would not abandoned that role that I wanted. Only many years later I realized that to be that Elisabeth I had to get get rid of the real one, until I didn’t recognize her anymore.
Fortunately at some point in my life I decided to rediscover the old me, that as a child enjoyed playing with dolls, which dreamed of winning the Nobel peace prize. I entered San Patrignano and through effort and suffering I found the old me, now I don’t know if I will win the Nobel Prize but for sure I have found peace.
Elisabeth