We used to play giving a name to each raindrop, while hidden in some corner of the world, in shelters that in those days seemed essential, as if they were home.
We were running away, it was clear to me that we were really running away.
Remember? I explained to you the songs, you didn’t care and you remained silent listening to me, doing only a few nods, as if to say that you have understood, even though it wasn’t true.
Remember? We had a dirty language, made up of lies that we kept on telling each other.
If that wasn’t escaping, what was it then? Constantly and exhaustingly trying to forget our present towards a future that was never closer than a few hours from our noses.
We never fought though, who had the time? We kept old memories trying to bring forth more excitement. If there was anger it was only for a brief period, short, like a chemical reaction. To bring emotions to life more or less, it was a switch that we could turn on and off as slowly as we would like. It was like waking up sweaty from a dreamless sleep.
We complained about the things that were going well. Remember that there was a time when things went well?
Where are those things now? Now all that there is left, is fear, the desire to escape and the desire for light.
… Sometimes lies are beautiful, so beautiful that you would prefer to stay there lulled rather than be exposed to the violent truth.
When you are accustomed to the darkness, the light hurts your eyes…
Remember that we were blind? We talked of the future, but we did not realize that there wouldn’t be a future if we did not accept our present. The one that we had we did not want and we did not know, unaware that in this way the future would ignore us.
Remember that no word really made sense? I noticed only later, when it was too late, when you find yourself having to look for a way to greater things than words, greater than emotion, when you find yourself having to look for a way to make sense to yourself…
Remember if back then we thought whether we made sense? I wonder if you ever questioned yourself?
I quoted poets who died of cirrhosis and envied them, you looked at girls and envied the ease in which people would so easily expose themselves to them.
I howl at the ceiling of the tunnel…
You told me to watch the road, and that I drive like a dog…
Remember how we showed our teeth to the whole world when they tried to enter into our lives? Our growl was aggressive but our bite was deceitful. We were scared as hell that our castle of toothpicks would collapse on us, but given time, they eventually did. Which fortunately enough then gave us the opportunity of reincarnation.
Do you remember the stars? We have never taken the time to look at them. What a life to live in a constant rush with a deadly slowness.
Now everything seems far away, but at the same time I know that it might be around the corner.
You remember this feeling of truth?
Needless to say, I know well that you remember these memories, just like I do.
Some things cannot be forgotten…thankfully!
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